KANAK-KANAK berbohong. Inilah satu kenyataan yang perlu dihadapi oleh kebanyakan ibu bapa. Tiada arahan atau galakan diperlukan.
Berbohong seakan sudah sebati dalam jiwa sesetengah kanak-kanak. Memperbesarkan masalah, memutar-belitkan kebenaran, mereka cerita dan menafikan kenyataan adalah antara yang akan dilakukan sewaktu bercakap bohong.
Namun, jika kekerapan seseorang anak berbohong menjadi kompulsif dan tanpa sebab, ibu bapa mungkin perlu 'campur tangan'.
Apabila kitaran penipuan bermula, ia akan menghilangkan kepercayaan orang lain terhadap si anak, sekali gus menyukarkan kitaran tidak sihat ini dihentikan.
Oleh sebab itulah, ibu bapa perlu bertindak meneroka sebab anak berbohong dan perlu mencari jalan penyelesaian untuk memperbaiki tabiat buruk itu.
Mungkin ramai yang tidak tahu berbohong juga adalah petanda awal kepada masalah yang lebih serius.
Berbohong cara kompulsif biasanya dikaitkan dengan penderitaan anak ekoran gangguan masalah sosial pada peringkat awal. Khasnya akibat penyakit Gangguan Hiperaktif dan Kurang Daya Tumpuan (ADHD) dan gangguan perilaku.
Dalam sesetengah kes, tabiat berbohong secara kompulsif turut disertakan dengan masalah kelakuan yang lain. Ini termasuk mencuri, ponteng sekolah, bersikap ganas, agresif dan kemahiran bersosial yang lemah.
Masalah seperti ini biasanya bercambah daripada rasa tidak selesa dalam situasi bersosial, bertindak secara spontan dan tidak menumpukan perhatian.
Apabila berlaku situasi seperti ini, penglibatan pakar-pakar kaunseling misalnya, amat penting untuk membantu kanak-kanak ini. Kaunselor-kaunselor dapat menolong melengkapkan ibu bapa dengan gaya mendidik serta pemahaman terhadap anak yang lebih spesifik.
Mengapa berbohong?
Terdapat beberapa sebab mengapa kanak-kanak bercakap bohong secara kompulsif.
Takut
Perasaan takut adalah pendorong biasa untuk seseorang memberanikan diri berbohong. Takut dimarahi ibu atau takut kebebasan yang diberikan akan dirampas. Ketakutan yang rasional atau tidak juga boleh memberi kesan pembohongan serupa. Sebab apa yang diimpikan oleh anak hanyalah 'perlindungan' sementara daripada hukuman.
Namun, terdapat dua perkara penting di sini. Pertama, anak yang berbohong besar kemungkinannya tahu mereka telah melakukan sesuatu kesalahan. Kedua, ibu bapa perlu menerima pembohongan itu kerana anak sememangnya takut berdepan dengan reaksi mereka.
Tidak hairanlah apabila teriakan bertalu-talu, sikap pemarah dan ibu bapa yang terlalu melindungi anak membuatkan mereka ketakutan. Memberi peluang untuk berkompromi dan mendengar sebelum menyalahkan anak membolehkan komunikasi dua hala berlangsung.
Tabiat
Kata orang, semakin kerap kita mempraktikkan sesuatu, semakin mudahlah ia bertukar menjadi satu tabiat. Begitu juga dengan bercakap bohong. Pembohongan berulang biasanya diperkukuhkan dengan pendekatan yang agresif. Salah satu kaedah paling efektif untuk menyelesaikan pembohongan berkala adalah memberi peluang kepada anak untuk menarik balik kata-kata bohong itu. Ini harus dilakukan tanpa rasa takut akan akibat yang bakal dihadapinya.
Meniru
Sebahagian besar anak 'terpanggil' untuk berbohong setelah melihat orang lain melakukannya. Dilema yang dihadapi oleh ibu bapa adalah mampukah mereka melindungi anak daripada berbohong. Seandainya sukar untuk ibu bapa mengawal anak daripada meniru pembohongan di luar rumah, maka buangkanlah tabiat berbohong anda terlebih dahulu. Lebih berkesan jika mereka tidak meniru tabiat berbohong di rumah dan menjadikannya tabiat.
Terdapat beberapa perkara yang perlu ibu bapa pertimbangkan sebelum menjatuhkan hukuman ke atas kesalahan anak.
1. Hukuman sememangnya direka untuk mengurangkan perilaku yang teruk. Masalahnya, hukuman tanpa kasih sayang dan arahan yang betul adalah sia-sia. Dalam sesetengah situasi, hukuman pula menyumbang kepada tindakan melampau dan penderaan.
2. Menghukum anak atas pembohongan yang berobjektifkan ketakutan atau akibat meniru bukan satu kaedah efektif dalam jangka masa panjang. Sebaliknya, mengenal pasti punca masalah adalah lebih praktikal berbanding berdepan dengan simptom-simptomnya.
3. Hukuman patut dijadikan pilihan terakhir dan bukan dilakukan mengikut emosi. Penggunaan bahasa dan pendekatan yang lebih lembut biasanya lebih berkesan. Beritahu anak dalam nada rendah seperti, "Tahu tak, mak dan ayah rasa kecewa apabila Atan berbohong?"
Yang penting, ketahuilah niat setiap ibu bapa adalah untuk melihat anak bercakap benar. Justeru, gunakanlah pendekatan yang lebih baik agar anak belajar daripada kesilapannya.
nnn Untuk maklumat lanjut, sila layari laman web http://webhome.idirect.com/~readon/lies.html.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Trauma Mangsa Jenayah Asid
Oleh FATEN SAPHILLA MOHAMED ISA
saphilla.isa@kosmo.com
Kes jenayah asid semakin meningkat hari ini. Mengapakah ia sering menjadi pilihan suspek yang cemburu dan iri hati? Adakah masih ada harapan untuk mangsa kembali hidup normal?
KHODEZA Begun masih lagi trauma mengingati peristiwa lapan tahun lalu, apabila beliau dan anak perempuannya disimbah asid oleh seorang penyerang yang tidak dikenali ketika sedang tidur di rumahnya.
"Cecair asid tersebut menghakis permukaan kulit muka saya agak teruk dan kepala anak saya.
"Malangnya, saya tidak dapat sebarang pembelaan daripada polis atau mahkamah bagi mengenalpasti pesalah terbabit," kata wanita berumur 30 tahun yang menutupi wajahnya dengan sehelai selendang merah akibat kecacatan kesan simbahan asid yang mencacatkan wajahnya.
Khodeza mendedahkan peristiwa hitam dalam hidupnya itu pada satu persidangan ulang tahun yang ke-10 Pertubuhan Mangsa Asid (ASF) di Dhaka, Bangladesh baru-baru ini.
ASF, polis dan mangsa-mangsa serangan asid mengatakan, kebanyakan kejadian simbahan asid yang berlaku di Bangladesh adalah disebabkan keengganan mangsa melakukan hubungan seks.
Ini kerana, kebanyakan mangsa tergolong di kalangan wanita muda. Selain itu, permintaan mas kahwin yang tinggi daripada keluarga atau perebutan tanah juga adalah salah satu sebab kejadian seumpama itu berlaku.
Kejadian yang meninggalkan ketakutan dan psikologi trauma pada mangsa tidak dapat dielakkan.
Pengelola persidangan itu memberitahu, ramai mangsa seperti Khodeza dinafikan keadilannya. Ada sesetengahnya, hanya memencilkan diri dan juga dipulaukan keluarga akibat kesan parut yang melekat di wajah mangsa.
"Saya bernasib baik kerana suami tidak meninggalkan kami anak beranak walaupun keadaan kami seperti ini.
"Berbeza dengan nasib kebanyakan mangsa asid yang ditinggalkan kerana wajah mereka yang hodoh dan cacat," kata wanita yang berasal dari daerah selatan Satkhira, Bangladesh itu.
Justeru apakah perkara pertama yang boleh dilakukan apabila seseorang terkena simbahan asid?
Profesor Taufiq Yap Yun Hin dari Fakulti Sains Jabatan Kimia, Universiti Putra Malaysia (UPM) Serdang, menjelaskan tindakan segera dengan mencurahkan air yang banyak pada kawasan yang terkena asid amat penting.
Ini kerana, asid adalah sejenis sebatian kimia yang terkenal dengan sifat masam dan menghakis.
Jelasnya, asid dalam bentuk pepejal tidak begitu kuat berbanding asid dalam bentuk cecair yang sangat cepat menghakis.
"Terdapat asid lemah dan asid kuat. Ia juga disebut sebagai asid organik dan asid mineral.
"Asid organik banyak terdapat dalam industri pemakanan, manakala asid mineral ialah asid yang kuat dan terdiri daripada asid sulfurik yang sangat mudah menghakis," katanya kepada Kosmo! ketika ditemui baru-baru ini.
Lelaki berketurunan Cina itu memberitahu, satu petunjuk mudah yang dapat menentukan keasidan sesuatu sebatian ialah dengan menggunakan meter pH.
"Jika buka penutup botol yang mengandungi asid dan ia berasap, itu menandakan nilai pHnya terlalu tinggi. Kebanyakan asid jenis tersebut digunakan oleh suspek untuk mencederakan mangsa sehingga kecederaan kronik.
"Ini kerana, cecair tersebut boleh menghakis bukan sahaja permukaan epidermis (lapisan paling luar kulit yang terletak pada lapisan atas dermis).
"Malah, ia juga boleh ke peringkat dermis (lapisan kedua kulit yang mempunyai ketebalan kira-kira 0.25 milimeter ke 2.55 milimeter daripada kulit), jika tiada tindakan segera diambil," tegasnya.
Persoalannya, bagaimana penyimbah asid memperoleh cecair tersebut dengan begitu mudah?
"Sebenarnya bahan tersebut mudah diperoleh daripada industri kimia. Kegunaan utama adalah dalam penghasilan baja (ammonium sulfat).
"Bahan itu juga digunakan dalam pembuatan kimia seperti asid hidroklorik, asid nitrik dan pelbagai lagi.
"Bukan itu sahaja, cecair asid juga digunakan di dalam industri petroleum untuk membersihkan bahan asing," kata penyelaras Pusat Kecemerlangan Sains dan Teknologi Katalisis, Fakulti Sains UPM tersebut.
Trauma emosi
Dalam pada itu, Pensyarah Kanan Jabatan Sains Kemanusiaan dan Pembangunan Fakulti Psikologi, UPM, Prof. Dr. Haslinda Abdullah memberitahu, mangsa simbahan asid bakal mengalami trauma mahupun kecelaruan emosi berpanjangan (posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
"Kebiasaannya ia berlaku selepas seseorang itu berdepan dengan tragedi dalam kehidupan mereka.
"Ia berkemungkinan trauma yang sangat menakutkan, mengancam nyawa atau membahayakan individu terbabit," katanya ketika dihubungi Kosmo!.
Jelasnya, kebanyakan mangsa akan merasai kembali trauma. Individu tersebut dapat merasakan seolah-olah trauma tersebut berlaku kembali terhadap dirinya.
Ini termasuk mengalami mimpi ngeri, atau imbasan tentang trauma yang sentiasa menyelubunginya.
"Apa yang penting, masyarakat sekeliling terutamanya keluarga dan rakan-rakan sentiasa memberikan sokongan.
"Bantu mereka menghadapi trauma tersebut dengan baik. Jangan pula masyarakat mencemuh atau meminggirkan mereka kerana ia boleh mendatangkan kesan yang lebih teruk," katanya.
Sementara itu, pakar bedah kosmetik salah sebuah klinik swasta, Dr. Nini Sutina Nordin pula memberitahu, jika kecacatan tersebut tidak dibaiki, ia akan menyukarkan pesakit dan menyebabkan mereka berasa tertekan dengan persepsi masyarakat.
"Terdapat dua jenis pembedahan iaitu pembedahan kosmetik dan pembedahan rekonstruktif.
"Pembedahan kosmetik bertujuan memperbaiki bentuk struktur wajah yang normal bagi meningkatkan tahap keyakinan dan harga diri.
"Pembedahan rekonstruktif pula bertujuan untuk memperbaiki bentuk wajah dan fungsi tubuh yang cedera akibat kemalangan atau kecederaan, penyakit dan kecacatan kelahiran," katanya.
Tegasnya, ia akan memberikan mangsa peluang untuk menjalani hidup yang normal tanpa dipandang rendah oleh orang ramai.
Ia juga akan memberikan mereka peluang untuk bergaul dan diterima oleh komuniti.
Namun, Nini memberitahu pembedahan rekonstruktif yang dilakukan juga memerlukan doktor melihat tahap keseriusan kesan simbahan asid tersebut.
"Ia kemungkinan memerlukan bukan sekali dua pembedahan sahaja malah, pesakit juga harus menerima hakikat bahawa mereka mungkin tidak boleh pulih sepenuhnya," katanya.
Di Malaysia kebanyakan kes jenayah melibatkan simbahan asid berpunca daripada perasaan tidak puas hati, cemburu dan hasad dengki.
Antara kes yang paling klasik dan mendapat liputan luas media adalah kes seorang wanita, Siti Khalifah Sulong, 57, yang menyimbah asid ke muka suaminya Tuan Azman Tuan Ludin, 35, yang sedang tidur selepas suaminya menyatakan hasrat mahu berkahwin lagi.
Kes itu sangat sensasi mungkin disebabkan jarak umur pasangan terbabit selain tahap kecederaan teruk yang dialami Tuan Azman dan keputusan bakal isteri kedua Tuan Azman yang kemudian menukar fikiran menolak perkahwinan itu.
Siti Khalifah yang mengaku bersalah mencederakan Tuan Azman dihukum penjara lima tahun oleh Mahkamah Sesyen Kota Bharu pada tahun 2006.
saphilla.isa@kosmo.com
Kes jenayah asid semakin meningkat hari ini. Mengapakah ia sering menjadi pilihan suspek yang cemburu dan iri hati? Adakah masih ada harapan untuk mangsa kembali hidup normal?
KHODEZA Begun masih lagi trauma mengingati peristiwa lapan tahun lalu, apabila beliau dan anak perempuannya disimbah asid oleh seorang penyerang yang tidak dikenali ketika sedang tidur di rumahnya.
"Cecair asid tersebut menghakis permukaan kulit muka saya agak teruk dan kepala anak saya.
"Malangnya, saya tidak dapat sebarang pembelaan daripada polis atau mahkamah bagi mengenalpasti pesalah terbabit," kata wanita berumur 30 tahun yang menutupi wajahnya dengan sehelai selendang merah akibat kecacatan kesan simbahan asid yang mencacatkan wajahnya.
Khodeza mendedahkan peristiwa hitam dalam hidupnya itu pada satu persidangan ulang tahun yang ke-10 Pertubuhan Mangsa Asid (ASF) di Dhaka, Bangladesh baru-baru ini.
ASF, polis dan mangsa-mangsa serangan asid mengatakan, kebanyakan kejadian simbahan asid yang berlaku di Bangladesh adalah disebabkan keengganan mangsa melakukan hubungan seks.
Ini kerana, kebanyakan mangsa tergolong di kalangan wanita muda. Selain itu, permintaan mas kahwin yang tinggi daripada keluarga atau perebutan tanah juga adalah salah satu sebab kejadian seumpama itu berlaku.
Kejadian yang meninggalkan ketakutan dan psikologi trauma pada mangsa tidak dapat dielakkan.
Pengelola persidangan itu memberitahu, ramai mangsa seperti Khodeza dinafikan keadilannya. Ada sesetengahnya, hanya memencilkan diri dan juga dipulaukan keluarga akibat kesan parut yang melekat di wajah mangsa.
"Saya bernasib baik kerana suami tidak meninggalkan kami anak beranak walaupun keadaan kami seperti ini.
"Berbeza dengan nasib kebanyakan mangsa asid yang ditinggalkan kerana wajah mereka yang hodoh dan cacat," kata wanita yang berasal dari daerah selatan Satkhira, Bangladesh itu.
Justeru apakah perkara pertama yang boleh dilakukan apabila seseorang terkena simbahan asid?
Profesor Taufiq Yap Yun Hin dari Fakulti Sains Jabatan Kimia, Universiti Putra Malaysia (UPM) Serdang, menjelaskan tindakan segera dengan mencurahkan air yang banyak pada kawasan yang terkena asid amat penting.
Ini kerana, asid adalah sejenis sebatian kimia yang terkenal dengan sifat masam dan menghakis.
Jelasnya, asid dalam bentuk pepejal tidak begitu kuat berbanding asid dalam bentuk cecair yang sangat cepat menghakis.
"Terdapat asid lemah dan asid kuat. Ia juga disebut sebagai asid organik dan asid mineral.
"Asid organik banyak terdapat dalam industri pemakanan, manakala asid mineral ialah asid yang kuat dan terdiri daripada asid sulfurik yang sangat mudah menghakis," katanya kepada Kosmo! ketika ditemui baru-baru ini.
Lelaki berketurunan Cina itu memberitahu, satu petunjuk mudah yang dapat menentukan keasidan sesuatu sebatian ialah dengan menggunakan meter pH.
"Jika buka penutup botol yang mengandungi asid dan ia berasap, itu menandakan nilai pHnya terlalu tinggi. Kebanyakan asid jenis tersebut digunakan oleh suspek untuk mencederakan mangsa sehingga kecederaan kronik.
"Ini kerana, cecair tersebut boleh menghakis bukan sahaja permukaan epidermis (lapisan paling luar kulit yang terletak pada lapisan atas dermis).
"Malah, ia juga boleh ke peringkat dermis (lapisan kedua kulit yang mempunyai ketebalan kira-kira 0.25 milimeter ke 2.55 milimeter daripada kulit), jika tiada tindakan segera diambil," tegasnya.
Persoalannya, bagaimana penyimbah asid memperoleh cecair tersebut dengan begitu mudah?
"Sebenarnya bahan tersebut mudah diperoleh daripada industri kimia. Kegunaan utama adalah dalam penghasilan baja (ammonium sulfat).
"Bahan itu juga digunakan dalam pembuatan kimia seperti asid hidroklorik, asid nitrik dan pelbagai lagi.
"Bukan itu sahaja, cecair asid juga digunakan di dalam industri petroleum untuk membersihkan bahan asing," kata penyelaras Pusat Kecemerlangan Sains dan Teknologi Katalisis, Fakulti Sains UPM tersebut.
Trauma emosi
Dalam pada itu, Pensyarah Kanan Jabatan Sains Kemanusiaan dan Pembangunan Fakulti Psikologi, UPM, Prof. Dr. Haslinda Abdullah memberitahu, mangsa simbahan asid bakal mengalami trauma mahupun kecelaruan emosi berpanjangan (posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
"Kebiasaannya ia berlaku selepas seseorang itu berdepan dengan tragedi dalam kehidupan mereka.
"Ia berkemungkinan trauma yang sangat menakutkan, mengancam nyawa atau membahayakan individu terbabit," katanya ketika dihubungi Kosmo!.
Jelasnya, kebanyakan mangsa akan merasai kembali trauma. Individu tersebut dapat merasakan seolah-olah trauma tersebut berlaku kembali terhadap dirinya.
Ini termasuk mengalami mimpi ngeri, atau imbasan tentang trauma yang sentiasa menyelubunginya.
"Apa yang penting, masyarakat sekeliling terutamanya keluarga dan rakan-rakan sentiasa memberikan sokongan.
"Bantu mereka menghadapi trauma tersebut dengan baik. Jangan pula masyarakat mencemuh atau meminggirkan mereka kerana ia boleh mendatangkan kesan yang lebih teruk," katanya.
Sementara itu, pakar bedah kosmetik salah sebuah klinik swasta, Dr. Nini Sutina Nordin pula memberitahu, jika kecacatan tersebut tidak dibaiki, ia akan menyukarkan pesakit dan menyebabkan mereka berasa tertekan dengan persepsi masyarakat.
"Terdapat dua jenis pembedahan iaitu pembedahan kosmetik dan pembedahan rekonstruktif.
"Pembedahan kosmetik bertujuan memperbaiki bentuk struktur wajah yang normal bagi meningkatkan tahap keyakinan dan harga diri.
"Pembedahan rekonstruktif pula bertujuan untuk memperbaiki bentuk wajah dan fungsi tubuh yang cedera akibat kemalangan atau kecederaan, penyakit dan kecacatan kelahiran," katanya.
Tegasnya, ia akan memberikan mangsa peluang untuk menjalani hidup yang normal tanpa dipandang rendah oleh orang ramai.
Ia juga akan memberikan mereka peluang untuk bergaul dan diterima oleh komuniti.
Namun, Nini memberitahu pembedahan rekonstruktif yang dilakukan juga memerlukan doktor melihat tahap keseriusan kesan simbahan asid tersebut.
"Ia kemungkinan memerlukan bukan sekali dua pembedahan sahaja malah, pesakit juga harus menerima hakikat bahawa mereka mungkin tidak boleh pulih sepenuhnya," katanya.
Di Malaysia kebanyakan kes jenayah melibatkan simbahan asid berpunca daripada perasaan tidak puas hati, cemburu dan hasad dengki.
Antara kes yang paling klasik dan mendapat liputan luas media adalah kes seorang wanita, Siti Khalifah Sulong, 57, yang menyimbah asid ke muka suaminya Tuan Azman Tuan Ludin, 35, yang sedang tidur selepas suaminya menyatakan hasrat mahu berkahwin lagi.
Kes itu sangat sensasi mungkin disebabkan jarak umur pasangan terbabit selain tahap kecederaan teruk yang dialami Tuan Azman dan keputusan bakal isteri kedua Tuan Azman yang kemudian menukar fikiran menolak perkahwinan itu.
Siti Khalifah yang mengaku bersalah mencederakan Tuan Azman dihukum penjara lima tahun oleh Mahkamah Sesyen Kota Bharu pada tahun 2006.
LELAKI PALING KERDIL DI DUNIA
DENGAN ketinggian kira-kira 61 sentimeter, Khagendra Thapa Magar hanya perlu menunggu empat bulan lagi untuk diisytiharkan sebagai lelaki paling kerdil di dunia.
Tidak sabar-sabar menanti hari ulang tahun kelahirannya yang ke-18 Oktober depan, Khagendra dan keluarganya sudah menjalin hubungan dengan Guinness untuk mengambil alih secara rasmi gelaran itu daripada He Ping Ping dari China yang setinggi 74 sentimeter.
Bagaimanapun, Khagendra yang seberat 4.54 kilogram seolah-olah sudah menjadi selebriti di negara kelahirannya, Nepal.
Tokoh politik turut ghairah untuk melihat Khagendra diiktiraf sebagai lelaki paling kerdil di dunia. Penduduk kampungnya pula menggelarnya ‘Buddha kecil’.
Dia dilahirkan 17 tahun lalu di daerah Baglung, 200 kilometer dari Kathmandu, ibu negara Nepal. Sejak kecil lagi keluarganya dapat berasakan dia akan menjadi terkenal dan berjaya dalam hidup walaupun kerdil.
“Ketika dilahirkan, beratnya hanya 600 gram,” kata ibunya, Dhana Maya Thapa Magar, 33.
“Ia seperti melihat anak ayam yang keluar dari telur yang baru menetas. Saya mengaku pada mulanya saya malu dan tidak mahu keluar rumah. Namun kini hanya kebanggaan yang tersemat di hati saya dan begitu mengharapkan dia dinamakan lelaki paling kerdil di dunia.”
Walaupun punca kekerdilannya tidak pernah disahkan secara perubatan, namun doktor di Nepal yang memeriksa Khagendra percaya ia disebabkan oleh kelenjar pituitari yang tidak berfungsi. Jika tidak kerana masalah itu, dia dianggap sihat.
Sementara itu, keluarganya mewujudkan Yayasan Khagendra Thapa Magar untuk mempromosi usahanya bagi diisytiharkan lelaki paling kerdil di dunia.
“Dia sudah terkenal di seluruh Nepal dan India,” kata bapanya, Rupp Abrader Thana Magyar, 36.
“Dia menyertai kumpulan tarian dan menjelajah ke beberapa tempat supaya orang boleh melihatnya. Dia melakukannya beberapa kali setahun dan kini kami berharap dia akan disahkan sebagai lelaki paling kerdil.”
Menurut ibu bapanya, Khagendra berhenti membesar tahun lalu dan mereka menjangka ketinggiannya akan kekal seperti sekarang.
“Walaupun dia kecil, kami tetap bangga dengannya,” kata Rupp.
Jika dia mengambil alih gelaran itu, Khagendra akan menggantikan tempat Ping Ping yang kini berusia 20 tahun dan menetap di wilayah Guade, China.
Khagendra memohon kepada Guinness pada 2006 ketika dia berusia 14 tahun, tetapi permohonannya ditolak kerana masih di bawah umur.
“Kami sudah menanti tiga setengah tahun. Hanya tinggal empat bulan sebelum impian itu tercapai. Ketika menemui Menteri Luar, Sujata Koirala baru-baru ini, dia berjanji untuk menyokong hasrat kami,” kata Rupp.
Khagendra yang menghadapi masalah untuk bersandar, baru-baru ini memasuki tadika di kampungnya untuk belajar menulis dan membaca.
“Saya tinggal di sekolah dan belajar lima hari seminggu. Pada hujung minggu, saya pulang ke kedai buah-buahan ayah saya di Pokhara dan membantu mereka berniaga,” kata Khagendra.
Mengenai kegemarannya, Khagendra berkata, dia minat menonton rancangan karate di televisyen ketika di rumah dan menanam impian untuk menjadi penari paling terkenal di dunia sedikit masa lagi.
Sejak mula mendapat tumpuan hampir empat tahun lalu, dia terbabit dengan pelbagai publisiti yang bertujuan mendapat pengiktirafan rasmi daripada Guinness.
“Sebaik saja saya dinobatkan sebagai lelaki paling kerdil, saya akan dapat memenuhi impian untuk melawat Amerika Syarikat. Saya boleh pamerkan tarian saya dan juga tunjukkan kecekapan saya dalam karate,” kata Khagendra.
Walaupun perkembangan mentalnya tidak sama dengan rakan seusianya, Khagendra masih mempunyai perasaan terhadap gadis cantik.
“Satu daripada perkara yang paling menyeronokkan ketika mengikuti kumpulan tarian ialah saya boleh melihat gadis di Kathmandu.
“Mereka sungguh cantik dan pakaian mereka juga jauh berbeza dengan pakain gadis di kampung saya,” katanya.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Kecacatan komunikasi manusia Oleh Suliati Asri suliati@hmetro.com.my
MASALAH gagap, sengau, mempunyai suara garau atau serak, pelat beberapa konsonan huruf dan nyaring yang melampau adalah sesuatu yang biasa andai ada orang terdekat mengalaminya.
Ada sesetengah orang dalam masyarakat kita terutama ibu bapa pasrah apabila anak mereka mengalami masalah seperti ini.
Walaupun ia dikatakan normal, sebenarnya ia sebaliknya. Ini kerana masalah ini adalah satu sindrom di panggil kecacatan komunikasi manusia dan ia boleh dirawat.
Kecacatan komunikasi manusia? Apakah yang dimaksudkan dengan kecacatan komunikasi ini? Pelik juga kerana dalam berkomunikasi juga ada kecacatan?
Pensyarah Kecacatan Komunikasi Manusia Universiti Manusia (UM), Abdul Rahim Mat Yassim, berkata kecacatan komunikasi manusia adalah perkara, penyakit atau fenomena yang mengganggu seseorang itu untuk komunikasi.
Menurutnya, ia berkaitan masalah bahasa dan pertuturan yang dihadapi penghidapnya berbentuk patologi yang berkait dengan penyakit bahasa.
"Kecacatan komunikasi manusia ini membabitkan alat pengeluaran bahasa pertuturan terutama dari saluran pertuturan iaitu daripada rongga hidung, mulut sehinggalah ke saluran suara serta otak.
"Apabila saluran itu mengalami kecederaan atau mempunyai kecacatan, ia akan menjejaskan bahasa dan pertuturan serta menggendalakan komunikasi. Itulah juga definisi kecacatan komunikasi manusia," katanya yang sudah berkecimpung dengan bidang ini selama 13 tahun.
Contoh terbaik adalah kecacatan artikulasi yang apabila seseorang bercakap dalam bahasa ibunda, dia tidak boleh menyebut dengan betul bersesuaian dengan peringkat umurnya seperti pelat.
"Mungkin dalam pelat itu, dia ada menggugurkan bunyi, penambahan bunyi, membuat pemesongan bunyi dan penggantian bunyi.
Justeru, apabila seseorang itu gagap, sengau, mempunyai suara garau atau serak dan nyaring yang melampau, ia dikategorikan sebagai mempunyai kecacatan komunikasi manusia.
Walaupun, ada sesetengah masyarakat menyifatkan ia sebagai kejadian semula jadi, sebenarnya ia boleh di betulkan dan perlu dikesan lebih awal.
Bagaimanapun, perkara ini perlu dikesan dengan segera kerana jika lambat, ia boleh mengakibatkan kanak-kanak itu akan mengalami masalah dalam berkomunikasi.
Selain itu juga, kelewatan ibu bapa mengesan masalah ini juga boleh menyebabkan rawatan yang bakal dijalani lebih panjang.
Menurutnya, paling awal perkara ini dapat dikesan adalah ketika kanak-kanak itu berusia dua tahun. Ini kerana pada ketika itu mereka sudah boleh bercakap walaupun hanya beberapa patah perkataan saja.
"Jadi, jika di usia ini, mereka masih tidak boleh bercakap, ibu bapa perlu mengambil tindakan bagi mengelak masalah ini berlarutan dan bukannya hanya menganggapnya sebagai normal.
"Selain itu, jika mereka sudah mencecah umur enam tahun dan bercakap seperti kanak-kanak berusia tiga atau empat tahun, itu bermakna si kecil itu ada sindrom ini," katanya.
Dengan keadaan anak yang seperti itu dan ibu bapa masih tidak mengambil tindakan, kanak-kanak berkenaan akan berdepan masalah apabila besar nanti.
"Contohnya, kanak-kanak yang gagap. Jika dia tetap gagap sehingga mencecah usia sembilan tahun, kemungkinan besar kanak-kanak itu akan mengalami gagap yang kekal dan sukar untuk dirawat.
"Semakin lambat kanak-kanak itu dikesan mengalami sindrom ini, semakin panjanglah tempoh rawatan yang mereka terpaksa terima," katanya.
Ada juga segelintir ibu bapa yang menyedari masalah ini tetapi tidak tahu ke mana seharusnya mereka merujuk.
Selain itu, mereka juga tidak ada masa untuk membuat kajian atau berjumpa dengan pakar dan kerana itu anak dibiarkan dalam keadaan sedemikian.
Menurut Rahim, ibu bapa sebenarnya ada banyak tempat untuk membuat rujukan atau memulihkan sindrom ini.
"Ibu bapa sebenarnya boleh merujuk kepada persatuan yang banyak ditubuhkan di negara kita termasuk persatuan orang pekak.
"Selain itu, mereka juga boleh merujuk kepada Pusat Perubatan UM (PPUM) Bahagian Klinik Telinga, Hidung dan Tekak," katanya.
Di klinik terbabit, kanak-kanak boleh dibantu dengan penilaian klinikal apabila kebiasaannya doktor akan memeriksa alat pertuturan mereka bagi menentukan kecacatan fizikal pada alat pertuturan berkenaan.
"Jika tidak ada kecacatan fizikal dikesan, doktor akan terus merujuk kepada jurupulih pertuturan klinikal yang menawarkan perkhidmatan seumpama itu di PPUM.
"Bagaimanapun, jika terdapat kecacatan fizikal, doktor akan membuat pembetulan di bahagian yang mengalami kecacatan itu," katanya.
Sementara itu, selain menyediakan klinik berkaitan masalah ini, UM juga menawarkan kursus berkenaan di Fakulti Bahasa dan Linguistik sejak 13 tahun lalu.
Bagaimanapun, kursus itu tidak dikenali ramai kerana kurang pendedahan dan kebanyakan berpendapatan kecacatan atau kelemahan dalam komunikasi itu berkait rapat dengan kelemahan seseorang menguasai bahasa kedua seperti bahasa Inggeris.
Biasanya apabila bercerita mengenai komunikasi, orang akan berpendapat mengenai bagaimana kita bertutur dalam bahasa lain tetapi bidang komunikasi ini sangat meluas dan ia mempunyai kecacatan yang kita tidak
tahu.
Rahim berkata, UM menawarkan kursus ini di peringkat sarjana muda dan sarjana yang akan mengkaji mengenai bahasa serta pertuturan kerana komponen itu penting dalam sesuatu komunikasi.
Kursus ini juga menggabungkan perubatan dan linguistik kerana ia memerlukan pengetahuan dalam bidang anatomi dan psikologi dalam pertuturan.
"Oleh itu, dengan ilmu ini, pelajar atau guru yang mengambil kursus berkenaan boleh membuat pengesahan awal terhadap kanak-kanak atau murid yang menghidap sindrom ini.
"Selain itu, pelajar juga terutama guru dapat memberi tumpuan kepada murid yang bermasalah supaya mereka tidak ketinggalan serta terpinggir," katanya.
Menurutnya, kanak-kanak yang ada masalah kecacatan komunikasi manusia ini bukanlah seorang yang bodoh atau lembap, namun dek sindrom ini mereka tidak dapat menerima pelajaran itu dengan baik.
"Jadi, saya berharap sangat agar masyarakat terutama ibu bapa dan guru lebih peka terhadap permasalahan ini supaya mereka tidak terabai," katanya.
Bagi mereka yang mempunyai anak mengalami sindrom ini dan ingin membuat rujukan, bolehlah menghubungi Abdul Rahim Mat Yassim di talian 03-79673108 atau e-mel: masrimie@gmail.com
Ada sesetengah orang dalam masyarakat kita terutama ibu bapa pasrah apabila anak mereka mengalami masalah seperti ini.
Walaupun ia dikatakan normal, sebenarnya ia sebaliknya. Ini kerana masalah ini adalah satu sindrom di panggil kecacatan komunikasi manusia dan ia boleh dirawat.
Kecacatan komunikasi manusia? Apakah yang dimaksudkan dengan kecacatan komunikasi ini? Pelik juga kerana dalam berkomunikasi juga ada kecacatan?
Pensyarah Kecacatan Komunikasi Manusia Universiti Manusia (UM), Abdul Rahim Mat Yassim, berkata kecacatan komunikasi manusia adalah perkara, penyakit atau fenomena yang mengganggu seseorang itu untuk komunikasi.
Menurutnya, ia berkaitan masalah bahasa dan pertuturan yang dihadapi penghidapnya berbentuk patologi yang berkait dengan penyakit bahasa.
"Kecacatan komunikasi manusia ini membabitkan alat pengeluaran bahasa pertuturan terutama dari saluran pertuturan iaitu daripada rongga hidung, mulut sehinggalah ke saluran suara serta otak.
"Apabila saluran itu mengalami kecederaan atau mempunyai kecacatan, ia akan menjejaskan bahasa dan pertuturan serta menggendalakan komunikasi. Itulah juga definisi kecacatan komunikasi manusia," katanya yang sudah berkecimpung dengan bidang ini selama 13 tahun.
Contoh terbaik adalah kecacatan artikulasi yang apabila seseorang bercakap dalam bahasa ibunda, dia tidak boleh menyebut dengan betul bersesuaian dengan peringkat umurnya seperti pelat.
"Mungkin dalam pelat itu, dia ada menggugurkan bunyi, penambahan bunyi, membuat pemesongan bunyi dan penggantian bunyi.
Justeru, apabila seseorang itu gagap, sengau, mempunyai suara garau atau serak dan nyaring yang melampau, ia dikategorikan sebagai mempunyai kecacatan komunikasi manusia.
Walaupun, ada sesetengah masyarakat menyifatkan ia sebagai kejadian semula jadi, sebenarnya ia boleh di betulkan dan perlu dikesan lebih awal.
Bagaimanapun, perkara ini perlu dikesan dengan segera kerana jika lambat, ia boleh mengakibatkan kanak-kanak itu akan mengalami masalah dalam berkomunikasi.
Selain itu juga, kelewatan ibu bapa mengesan masalah ini juga boleh menyebabkan rawatan yang bakal dijalani lebih panjang.
Menurutnya, paling awal perkara ini dapat dikesan adalah ketika kanak-kanak itu berusia dua tahun. Ini kerana pada ketika itu mereka sudah boleh bercakap walaupun hanya beberapa patah perkataan saja.
"Jadi, jika di usia ini, mereka masih tidak boleh bercakap, ibu bapa perlu mengambil tindakan bagi mengelak masalah ini berlarutan dan bukannya hanya menganggapnya sebagai normal.
"Selain itu, jika mereka sudah mencecah umur enam tahun dan bercakap seperti kanak-kanak berusia tiga atau empat tahun, itu bermakna si kecil itu ada sindrom ini," katanya.
Dengan keadaan anak yang seperti itu dan ibu bapa masih tidak mengambil tindakan, kanak-kanak berkenaan akan berdepan masalah apabila besar nanti.
"Contohnya, kanak-kanak yang gagap. Jika dia tetap gagap sehingga mencecah usia sembilan tahun, kemungkinan besar kanak-kanak itu akan mengalami gagap yang kekal dan sukar untuk dirawat.
"Semakin lambat kanak-kanak itu dikesan mengalami sindrom ini, semakin panjanglah tempoh rawatan yang mereka terpaksa terima," katanya.
Ada juga segelintir ibu bapa yang menyedari masalah ini tetapi tidak tahu ke mana seharusnya mereka merujuk.
Selain itu, mereka juga tidak ada masa untuk membuat kajian atau berjumpa dengan pakar dan kerana itu anak dibiarkan dalam keadaan sedemikian.
Menurut Rahim, ibu bapa sebenarnya ada banyak tempat untuk membuat rujukan atau memulihkan sindrom ini.
"Ibu bapa sebenarnya boleh merujuk kepada persatuan yang banyak ditubuhkan di negara kita termasuk persatuan orang pekak.
"Selain itu, mereka juga boleh merujuk kepada Pusat Perubatan UM (PPUM) Bahagian Klinik Telinga, Hidung dan Tekak," katanya.
Di klinik terbabit, kanak-kanak boleh dibantu dengan penilaian klinikal apabila kebiasaannya doktor akan memeriksa alat pertuturan mereka bagi menentukan kecacatan fizikal pada alat pertuturan berkenaan.
"Jika tidak ada kecacatan fizikal dikesan, doktor akan terus merujuk kepada jurupulih pertuturan klinikal yang menawarkan perkhidmatan seumpama itu di PPUM.
"Bagaimanapun, jika terdapat kecacatan fizikal, doktor akan membuat pembetulan di bahagian yang mengalami kecacatan itu," katanya.
Sementara itu, selain menyediakan klinik berkaitan masalah ini, UM juga menawarkan kursus berkenaan di Fakulti Bahasa dan Linguistik sejak 13 tahun lalu.
Bagaimanapun, kursus itu tidak dikenali ramai kerana kurang pendedahan dan kebanyakan berpendapatan kecacatan atau kelemahan dalam komunikasi itu berkait rapat dengan kelemahan seseorang menguasai bahasa kedua seperti bahasa Inggeris.
Biasanya apabila bercerita mengenai komunikasi, orang akan berpendapat mengenai bagaimana kita bertutur dalam bahasa lain tetapi bidang komunikasi ini sangat meluas dan ia mempunyai kecacatan yang kita tidak
tahu.
Rahim berkata, UM menawarkan kursus ini di peringkat sarjana muda dan sarjana yang akan mengkaji mengenai bahasa serta pertuturan kerana komponen itu penting dalam sesuatu komunikasi.
Kursus ini juga menggabungkan perubatan dan linguistik kerana ia memerlukan pengetahuan dalam bidang anatomi dan psikologi dalam pertuturan.
"Oleh itu, dengan ilmu ini, pelajar atau guru yang mengambil kursus berkenaan boleh membuat pengesahan awal terhadap kanak-kanak atau murid yang menghidap sindrom ini.
"Selain itu, pelajar juga terutama guru dapat memberi tumpuan kepada murid yang bermasalah supaya mereka tidak ketinggalan serta terpinggir," katanya.
Menurutnya, kanak-kanak yang ada masalah kecacatan komunikasi manusia ini bukanlah seorang yang bodoh atau lembap, namun dek sindrom ini mereka tidak dapat menerima pelajaran itu dengan baik.
"Jadi, saya berharap sangat agar masyarakat terutama ibu bapa dan guru lebih peka terhadap permasalahan ini supaya mereka tidak terabai," katanya.
Bagi mereka yang mempunyai anak mengalami sindrom ini dan ingin membuat rujukan, bolehlah menghubungi Abdul Rahim Mat Yassim di talian 03-79673108 atau e-mel: masrimie@gmail.com
Aku pun tingin nk jadik cmni...
KOTA BHARU: “Saya membaca al-Quran sejak berusia enam tahun dan berupaya menghafal semua 30 juzuk ketika berumur 14 tahun.
“Saya tiada rahsia kejayaan, sebaliknya hanya berserah kepada Allah supaya sentiasa memberi kekuatan,” kata Siti Nadhira Mohd Shafei, 16, selepas muncul sebagai Johan Menghafaz Al-Quran (1 hingga 30 juzuk) Peringkat Kebangsaan dalam kategori perempuan, di sini, semalam.
Pelajar Maahad Tahfiz Al-Ikhwan, Ampang, Selangor itu berkata, dia mendapat dorongan sepenuhnya daripada bapa, Mohd Shafei Mat Amin, 45, yang juga pengerusi sekolah berkenaan.
Katanya, kejayaan besar itu adalah kali kedua buatnya apabila turut bergelar Johan Hafazan kategori 1 hingga 15 juzuk dalam pertandingan sama, tahun lalu.
“Saya bersyukur kerana kejayaan itu memberi kegembiraan kepada ibu, Norliza Muhammad, 45, yang menempuh dugaan menjaga kakak yang sakit,” katanya.
Sementara itu, Johan Menghafaz Al-Quran (1-30 juzuk) kategori lelaki, Muhammad Ahmad Zahid, 14, pula berkata dia berlatih menghafal sejak tiga tahun lalu dengan membaca sekurang-kurangnya satu muka al-Quran setiap hari.
“Hanya dengan cara mengulang bacaan setiap hari, baru kita boleh menghafal dengan baik,” katanya yang menghafal semua 30 juzuk Al-Quran sejak berusia 10 tahun.
Hadiah disampaikan Sultan Kelantan, Tuanku Ismail Petra di Dewan Besar Balai Islam, Kompleks Islam Darul Naim, dekat sini, malam kelmarin.
(sumber : Kosmo, 2009)
Monday, April 6, 2009
Transactional Analysis by Eric Berne
Diagram of concepts in transactional analysis, based on cover of Eric Berne's 1964 book Games People Play.
Transactional analysis, commonly known as TA to its adherents, is an integrative approach to the theory of psychology and psychotherapy. Integrative because it has elements of psychoanalytic, Humanist and Cognitive approaches. It was developed by Canadian-born US psychiatrist Eric Berne during the late 1950s.
History
TA is not only post-Freudian but according to its founder's wishes consciously extra-Freudian. That is to say that while it has its roots in psychoanalysis - since Berne was a psychoanalytic-trained psychiatrist - it was designed as a dissenting branch of psychoanalysis in that it put its emphasis on transactional, rather than "psycho-", analysis.
With its focus on transactions, TA shifted its attention from internal psychological dynamics to the dynamics contained in people's interactions. Rather than believing that increasing awareness of the contents of unconsciously held ideas was the therapeutic path, TA concentrated on the content of people's interactions with each other. Changing these interactions was TA's path to solving emotional problems.
In addition Berne believed in making a commitment to "curing" his patients rather than just understanding them. To that end he introduced one of the most important aspects of TA: the contract - an agreement entered into by both client and therapist to pursue specific changes that the client desires.
Revising Freud's concept of the human psyche as composed of the id, ego, and super-ego, Berne postulated in addition three "ego states" — the Parent, Adult, and Child states — which were largely shaped through childhood experiences. These three are all part of Freud's ego; none represented the id or the superego.
Unhealthy childhood experiences could damage the Adult or Parent ego states, which would bring discomfort to an individual and/or others in a variety of forms, including many types of mental illness...
Berne considered how individuals interact with one another, and how the ego states affected each set of transactions. Unproductive or counterproductive transactions were considered to be signs of ego state problems. Analysing these transactions, according to the person's individual developmental history, would enable the person to "get better". Berne thought that virtually everyone has something problematic about their ego states and that negative behaviour would not be addressed by "treating" only the problematic individual.
Berne identified a typology of common counterproductive social interactions, identifying these as "games".
Berne presented his theories in two popular books on transactional analysis: Games People Play (1964) and What Do You Say After You Say Hello? (1975). As a result of this popularity, TA came to be disdained in many[citation needed] mainstream mental health circles as an example of "pop psychology". I'm OK, You're OK (1969), written by Berne's longtime friend Thomas Anthony Harris, is probably the most popular TA book. Many TA therapists regard I'm OK, You're OK as an oversimplification or worse.[citation needed]
TA was also dismissed by the conventional psychoanalytic community[citation needed] because of its radical departures from Freudian theory. However, by the 1970s, because of its non-technical and non-threatening jargon and model of the human psyche, many of its terms and concepts were adopted by eclectic therapists as part of their individual approaches to psychotherapy. It also served well as a therapy model for groups of patients, or marital/family counselees, where interpersonal (rather than intrapersonal) disturbances were the focus of treatment. Critics[1] have charged that TA — especially as loosely interpreted by those outside the more formal TA community — is a pseudoscience; when it is in fact[citation needed] better understood as a philosophy which happens to meet all the criteria listed in the Wikipedia entry for belief system.
TA's popularity in the U.S. waned in the 1970s, but it retains some popularity elsewhere in the world.[1] The more dedicated TA purists banded together in 1964 with Berne to form a research and professional accrediting body, the International Transactional Analysis Association, or ITAA. The organization is still active as of 2008.
TA outline
TA is a theory of personality and a systematic psychotherapy for personal growth and personal change.
1. As a theory of personality, TA describes how people are structured psychologically. It uses what is perhaps its best known model, the ego-state (Parent-Adult-Child) model to do this. This same model helps understand how people function and express themselves in their behaviors.
2. As a theory of communication it extends to a method of analysing systems and organisations.
3. It offers a theory for child development, where it ties in very neatly with the Freudian developmental stages -oral, anal, phallic.
4. It introduces the idea of a "Life (or Childhood) Script", that is, a story one perceives about ones own life, to answer questions such as "What matters", "How do I get along in life" and "What kind of person am I". This story, TA says, is often stuck to no matter the consequences, to "prove" one is right, even at the cost of pain, compulsion, self-defeating behaviour and other dysfunction. Thus TA offers a theory of a broad range of psychopathology.
5. In practical application, it can be used in the diagnosis and treatment of many types of psychological disorders, and provides a method of therapy for individuals, couples, families and groups.
6. Outside the therapeutic field, it has been used in education, to help teachers remain in clear communication at an appropriate level, in counseling and consultancy, in management and communications training, and by other bodies.
Key ideas of TA
TA emphasizes a pragmatic approach, that is, it seeks to find "what works" in treating patients, and, where applicable, develop models to assist understanding of why certain treatments work. Thus, TA continually evolves. However some core models and concepts are part of TA as follows:--
The Ego-State (or Parent-Adult-Child, PAC) model
At any given time, a person experiences and manifests their personality through a mixture of behaviours, thoughts and feelings. Typically, according to TA, there are three ego-states that people consistently use:
• Parent ("exteropsyche"): a state in which people behave, feel, and think in response to an unconscious mimicking of how their parents (or other parental figures) acted, or how they interpreted their parent's actions. For example, a person may shout at someone out of frustration because they learned from an influential figure in childhood the lesson that this seemed to be a way of relating that worked.
• Adult ("neopsyche"): a state of the ego which is most like a computer processing information and making predictions absent of major emotions that cloud its operation. Learning to strengthen the Adult is a goal of TA. While a person is in the Adult ego state, he/she is directed towards an objective appraisal of reality.
• Child ("archaeopsyche"): a state in which people behave, feel and think similarly to how they did in childhood. For example, a person who receives a poor evaluation at work may respond by looking at the floor, and crying or pouting, as they used to when scolded as a child. Conversely, a person who receives a good evaluation may respond with a broad smile and a joyful gesture of thanks. The Child is the source of emotions, creation, recreation, spontaneity and intimacy.
Berne differentiated his Parent, Adult, and Child ego states from actual adults, parents, and children, by using capital letters when describing them. These ego-states may or may not represent the relationships that they act out. For example, in the workplace, an adult supervisor may take on the Parent role, and scold an adult employee as though they were a Child. Or a child, using their Parent ego-state, could scold their actual parent as though the parent were a Child.
Within each of these ego states are subdivisions. Thus Parental figures are often either nurturing (permission-giving, security-giving) or criticizing (comparing to family traditions and ideals in generally negative ways); Childhood behaviours are either natural (free) or adapted to others. These subdivision categorize individuals' patterns of behaviour, feelings, and ways of thinking, that can be functional (beneficial or positive) or dysfunctional/counterproductive (negative).
Ego-states do not correspond directly to Sigmund Freud's Ego, Superego and Id, although there are obvious parallels. Ego states are consistent for each person and are argued by TA practitioners as more readily observable than the pats in Freud's hypothetical model. In other words, the particular ego state that a given person is communicating from is determinable by external observation and experience.
There is no "universal" ego-state; each state is individually and visibly manifested for each person. For example, each Child ego state is unique to the childhood experiences, mentality, intellect, and family of each individual; it is not a generalised childlike state.
Ego states can become contaminated, for example, when a person mistakes Parental rules and slogans, for here-and-now Adult reality, and when beliefs are taken as facts. Or when a person "knows" that everyone is laughing at them because "they always laughed". This would be an example of a childhood contamination, insofar as here-and-now reality is being overlaid with memories of previous historic incidents in childhood.
Ego states also do not correspond directly to thinking, feeling, and judging, as these behaviors are present in every ego state.
Berne suspected that Parent, Adult, and Child ego states might be tied to specific areas of the human brain; an idea that has not been proved.[1]
In more recent years the three ego state model has been questioned by a marginal TA group in Australia, who have devised a "two ego-state model" as a means of solving perceived theoretical problems:
"The two ego-state model sought to correct inaccuracies in the three ego-state model Berne devised. The two ego-state model says that there is a Child ego-state and a Parent ego-state, placing the Adult ego-state with the Parent ego-state. The information we learn at school is all Parent ego-state introjects. How we learn to speak, add up and learn how to think is all just copied from our teachers. Just as our morals and values are copied from our parents. There is no absolute truth where facts exist out side a person’s own belief system. Berne mistakenly concluded that there was and thus mistakenly put the Adult ego-state as separate from the Parent ego-state." For anyone interested in sourcing this deviation from mainstream TA, see [2][3]
Transactions and Strokes
• Transactions are the flow of communication, and more specifically the unspoken psychological flow of communication that runs in parallel.
• Transactions occur simultaneously at both explicit and psychological levels. Example: sweet caring voice with sarcastic intent. To read the real communication requires both surface and non-verbal reading.
• Strokes are the recognition, attention or responsiveness that one person gives another. Strokes can be positive (nicknamed "warm fuzzies"[4]) or negative ("cold pricklies"). A key idea is that people hunger for recognition, and that lacking positive strokes, will seek whatever kind they can, even if it is recognition of a negative kind. We test out as children what strategies and behaviours seem to get us strokes, of whatever kind we can get.
People often create pressure in (or experience pressure from) others to communicate in a way that matches their style, so that a boss who talks to his staff as a controlling parent will often engender self-abasement or other childlike responses. Those employees who resist may get removed or labeled as "trouble".
Transactions can be experienced as positive or negative depending on the nature of the strokes within them. However, a negative transaction is preferred to no transaction at all, because of a fundamental hunger for strokes.
The nature of transactions is important to understanding communication.
Kinds of transaction
Reciprocal or Complementary Transactions
A simple, reciprocal transaction occurs when both partners are addressing the ego state the other is in. These are also called complementary transactions.
Example 1
A: "Have you been able to write the report?"
B: "Yes - I'm about to email it to you." ----(This exchange was Adult to Adult)
Example 2
A: "Would you like to skip this meeting and go watch a film with me instead?"
B: "I'd love to - I don't want to work anymore, what should we go and see?" (Child to Child)
Example 3
A: "You should have your room tidy by now!" (Parent to Child)
B: "Will you stop hassling me? I'll do it eventually!" (Child to Parent)
Communication like this can continue indefinitely. (Clearly it will stop at some stage - but this psychologically balanced exchange of strokes can continue for some time).
Crossed Transactions
Communication failures are typically caused by a 'crossed transaction' where partners address ego states other than that their partner is in. Consider the above examples jumbled up a bit.
Example 1a:
A: "Have you been able to write that report?" (Adult to Adult)
B: "Will you stop hassling me? I'll do it eventually!" (Child to Parent)
is a crossed transaction likely to produce problems in the workplace. "A" may respond with a Parent to Child transaction. For instance:
A: "If you don't change your attitude, you'll get fired."
Example 2a:
A: "Is your room tidy yet?" (Parent to Child)
B: "I'm just going to do it, actually." (Adult to Adult)
is a more positive crossed transaction. However there is the risk that "A" will feel aggrieved that "B" is acting responsibly and not playing their role, and the conversation will develop into:
A: "I can never trust you to do things!" (Parent to Child)
B: "Why don't you believe anything I say?" (Adult to Adult)
which can continue indefinitely.
[edit] Duplex or Covert transactions
Another class of transaction is the 'duplex' or 'covert' transactions, where the explicit social conversation occurs in parallel with an implicit psychological transaction. For instance,
A: "I need you to stay late at the office with me." (Adult words)
body language indicates sexual intent (flirtatious Child)
B: "Of course." (Adult response to Adult statement).
winking or grinning (Child accepts the hidden motive).
Phenomena behind the transactions
Life (or Childhood) Script
• Script is a life plan, directed to a reward.
• Script is decisional and responsive; i.e., decided upon in childhood in response to perceptions of the world and as a means of living with and making sense of the world. It is not just thrust upon a person by external forces.
• Script is reinforced by parents (or other influential figures and experiences).
• Script is for the most part outside awareness.
• Script is how we navigate and what we look for, the rest of reality is redefined (distorted) to match our filters.
Each culture, country and people in the world has a Mythos, that is, a legend explaining its origins, core beliefs and purpose. According to TA, so do individual people. A person begins writing his/her own life story (script) at a young age, as he/she tries to make sense of the world and his place within it. Although it is revised throughout life, the core story is selected and decided upon typically by age 7. As adults it passes out of awareness. A life script might be "to be hurt many times, and suffer and make others feel bad when I die", and could result in a person indeed setting himself up for this, by adopting behaviours in childhood that produce exactly this effect. Though Berne identified several dozen common scripts, there are a practically infinite number of them. Though often largely destructive, scripts could as easily be mostly positive or beneficial.
Redefining and Discounting
• Redefining means the distortion of reality when we deliberately (but unconsciously) distort things to match our preferred way of seeing the world. Thus a person whose script involves "struggling alone against a cold hard world" may redefine others' kindness, concluding that others are trying to get something by manipulation.
• Discounting means to take something as worth less than it is. Thus to give a substitute reaction which does not originate as a here-and-now Adult attempt to solve the actual problem, or to choose not to see evidence that would contradict one's script. Types of discount can also include: passivity (doing nothing), over-adaptation, agitation, incapacitation, anger and violence.
Injunctions and Drivers
TA identifies twelve key injunctions which people commonly build into their scripts. These are injunctions in the sense of being powerful "I can't/mustn't ..." messages that embed into a child's belief and life-script:
Don't be (don't exist), Don't be who you are, Don't be a child, Don't grow up, Don't make it in your life, Don't do anything!, Don't be important, Don't belong, Don't be close, Don't be well (don't be sane!), Don't think, Don't feel.
In addition there is the so-called episcript, "You should (or deserve to) have this happen in your life, so it doesn't have to happen to me." (Magical thinking on the part of the parent(s).)
Against these, a child is often told other things he or she must do. There is debate as to whether there are five or six of these 'drivers':
Please (me/others)! Be perfect! Be Strong! Try Hard! Hurry Up! (Be Careful! is disputed)
Thus in creating his script, a child will often attempt to juggle these, example: "It's okay for me to go on living (ignore don't exist) so long as I try hard".
This explains why some change is inordinately difficult. To continue the above example: When a person stops trying hard and relaxes to be with his family, the injunction You don't have the right to exist which was being suppressed by their script now becomes exposed and a vivid threat. Such an individual may feel a massive psychological pressure which he himself doesn't understand, to return to trying hard, in order to feel safe and justified (in a childlike way) in existing.
Driver behaviour is also detectable at a very small scale, for instance in instinctive responses to certain situations where driver behaviour is played out over five to twenty seconds.
Broadly, scripts can fall into Tragic, Heroic or Banal (or Non-Winner) varieties, depending on their rules.
Ways of Time Structuring
There are six ways of structuring time by giving and receiving strokes:
1. Withdrawal
2. Ritual
3. Pastimes
4. Activity
5. Games
6. Intimacy
This is sorted in accordance to stroke strength, Intimacy and Games allow for the most intensive strokes, in general.
Withdrawal
This means no strokes are being exchanged
Rituals
A ritual is a series of transactions that are complementary (reciprocal), stereotyped and based on social programming. Rituals usually comprise a series of strokes exchanged between two parties.
For instance, two people may have a daily two stroke ritual, where, the first time they meet each day, each one greets the other with a "Hi". Others may have a four stroke ritual, such as:
A: Hi!
B: Hi! How do you do?
A: Getting along. What about you?
B: Fine. See you around.
The next time they meet in the day, they may not exchange any strokes at all, or may just acknowledge each other's presence with a curt nod.
Some phenomena associated with daily rituals:
• If a person exchanges fewer strokes than expected, the other person may feel that he is either preoccupied or acting high and mighty.
• If a person exchanges more strokes than expected, the other person might wonder whether he is trying to butter him up or get on good terms for some vested interests.
• If two people do not meet for a long time, a backlog of strokes gets built up, so that the next time they meet, they may exchange a large number of strokes to catch up.
Pastimes
A pastime is a series of transactions that is complementary (reciprocal), semi-ritualistic, and is mainly intended as a time-structuring activity. Pastimes have no covert purpose and can usually be carried out only between people on the same wavelength. They are usually shallow and harmless. Pastimes are a type of smalltalk.
Individuals often partake in similar pastimes throughout their entire life, as pastimes are generally very much linked to one's life script and the games that one often plays. Some pastimes can even be understood as a reward for playing a certain game. For example, Eric Berne in Games People Play discusses how those who play the "Alcoholic" game (which Berne differentiated from alcoholism and alcoholics) often enjoy the "Morning After" pastime in which participants share their most amusing or harrowing hangover stories.
Activities (Work)
Activities in this context mean the individuals work together for a common goal. This may be work, sports or something similar. In contrast to Pastimes, there is a meaningful purpose guiding the interactions, while Pastimes are just about exchanging strokes. Strokes can then be given in the context of the cooperation. Thus the strokes are generally not personal, but related to the activity.
Games
Games are discussed below.
Intimacy
Intimacy as a way of structuring time allows one to exchange the strongest strokes without playing a Game. Intimacy differs from Games as there is no covert purpose, and differs from Activities as there is no other process going on which defines a context of cooperation. Strokes are personal, relating to the other person, and often unconditional.
Games and their analysis
Definition of game
A game[5] is a series of transactions that is complementary (reciprocal), ulterior, and proceeds towards a predictable outcome. Games are often characterized by a switch in roles of players towards the end. Games are usually played by Parent, Adult and Child ego states, and games usually have a fixed number of players; however, an individual's role can shift, and people can play multiple roles.
Berne identified dozens of games, noting that, regardless of when, where or by whom they were played, each game tended towards very similar structures in how many players or roles were involved, the rules of the game, and the game's goals.
Each game has a payoff for those playing it, such as the aim of earning sympathy, satisfaction, vindication, or some other emotion that usually reinforces the life script. The antithesis of a game, that is, the way to break it, lies in discovering how to deprive the actors of their payoff.
Students of transactional analysis have discovered that people who are accustomed to a game are willing to play it even as a different "actor" from what they originally were.
Analysis of a game
One important aspect of a game is its number of players. Games may be two handed (that is, played by two players), three handed (that is, played by three players), or many handed. Three other quantitative variables are often useful to consider for games:
• Flexibility: The ability of the players to change the currency of the game (that is, the tools they use to play it). In a flexible game, players may shift from words, to money, to parts of the body.
• Tenacity: The persistence with which people play and stick to their games and their resistance to breaking it.
• Intensity: Easy games are games played in a relaxed way. Hard games are games played in a tense and aggressive way.
Based on the degree of acceptability and potential harm, games are classified as:
• First Degree Games are socially acceptable in the players' social circle.
• Second Degree Games are games that the players would like to conceal, though they may not cause irreversible damage.
• Third Degree Games are games that could lead to drastic harm to one or more of the parties concerned.
Games are also studied based on their:
• Aim
• Roles
• Social and Psychological Paradigms
• Dynamics
• Advantages to players (Payoffs)
Contrast with rational (mathematical) games
Transactional game analysis is fundamentally different from rational or mathematical game analysis in the following senses:
• The players do not always behave rationally in transactional analysis, but behave more like real people.
• Their motives are often ulterior
Some commonly found games
Here are some of the most commonly found themes of games described in Games People Play by Eric Berne:
• YDYB: Why Don't You, Yes But. Historically, the first game discovered.
• IFWY: If It Weren't For You
• WAHM: Why does this Always Happen to Me? (setting up a self-fulfilling prophecy)
• SWYMD: See What You Made Me Do
• UGMIT: You Got Me Into This
• LHIT: Look How Hard I've Tried
• ITHY: I'm Only Trying to Help You
• LYAHF: Let's You and Him Fight (staging a love triangle)
• NIGYYSOB / NIGYSOB: Now I've Got You, You Son Of a Bitch
• RAPO: A woman falsely cries 'rape' or threatens to - related to Buzz Off Buster
Berne argued that games are not played logically; rather, one person's Parent state might interact with another's Child, rather than as Adult to Adult.
Games can also be analysed according to the Karpman drama triangle, that is, by the roles of Persecutor, Victim and Rescuer. The 'switch' is then when one of these having allowed stable roles to become established, suddenly switches role. The Victim becomes a Persecutor, and throws the previous Persecutor into the Victim role, or the Rescuer suddenly switches to become a Persecutor ("You never appreciate me helping you!").
Why Don't You/Yes But
The first such game theorized was Why don't you/Yes, but in which one player (White) would pose a problem as if seeking help, and the other player(s) (Black) would offer solutions (the "Why don't you?" suggestion). This game was noticed as many patients played it in therapy and psychiatry sessions, and inspired Berne to identify other interpersonal "games".
White would point out a flaw in every Black player's solution (the "Yes, but" response), until they all gave up in frustration. For example, if someone's life script was "to be hurt many times, and suffer and make others feel bad when I die" a game of "Why Don't You, Yes But" might proceed as follows:
White: I wish I could lose some weight.
Black: Why don't you join a gym?
W: Yes but, I can't afford the payments for a gym.
B: Why don't you speed walk around your block after you get home from work?
W: Yes but, I don't dare walk alone in my neighborhood after dark.
B: Why don't you take the stairs at work instead of the elevator?
W: Yes but, after my knee surgery, it hurts too much to walk that many flights of stairs.
B: Why don't you change your diet?
W: Yes but, my stomach is sensitive and I can tolerate only certain foods.
"Why Don't You, Yes But" can proceed indefinitely, with any number of players in the Black role, until Black's imagination is exhausted, and she can think of no other solutions. At this point, White "wins" by having stumped Black. After a silent pause following Black's final suggestion, the game is often brought to a formal end by a third role, Green, who makes a comment such as, "It just goes to show how difficult it is to lose weight."
The secondary gain for White was that he could claim to have justified his problem as insoluble and thus avoid the hard work of internal change; and for Black, to either feel the frustrated martyr ("I was only trying to help") or a superior being, disrespected ("the patient was uncooperative").
Superficially, this game can resemble Adult to Adult interaction (people seeking information or advice), but more often, according to Berne, the game is played by Black's helpless Child, and White's lecturing Parent ego states.
Rackets
• A racket is the dual strategy of getting "permitted feelings," while covering up feelings which we truly feel, but which we regard as being "not allowed".
More technically, a racket feeling is "a familiar set of emotions, learned and enhanced during childhood, experienced in many different stress situations, and maladaptive as an adult means of problem solving".
A racket is then a set of behaviours which originate from the childhood script rather than in here-and-now full Adult thinking, which (1) are employed as a way to manipulate the environment to match the script rather than to actually solve the problem, and (2) whose covert goal is not so much to solve the problem, as to experience these racket feelings and feel internally justified in experiencing them.
Examples of racket and racket feelings: "Why do I meet good guys who turn out to be so hurtful", or "He always takes advantage of my goodwill". The racket is then a set of behaviours and chosen strategies learned and practised in childhood which in fact help to cause these feelings to be experienced. Typically this happens despite their own surface protestations and hurt feelings, out of awareness and in a way that is perceived as someone else's fault. One covert pay-off for this racket and its feelings, might be to gain in a guilt free way, continued evidence and reinforcement for a childhood script belief that "People will always let you down".
In other words, rackets and games are devices used by a person to create a circumstance where they can legitimately feel the racket feelings, thus abiding by and reinforcing their Childhood script. They are always a substitute for a more genuine and full adult emotion and response which would be a more appropriate response to the here-and-now situation.
Philosophy of TA
• People are OK; thus each person has validity, importance, equality of respect.
• Everyone (with only few exceptions) has full adult capability to think.
• People decide their story and destiny, and this is a decision that can be changed.
• Freedom from historical maladaptations embedded in the childhood script is required in order to become free of inappropriate, inauthentic and displaced emotion which are not a fair and honest reflection of here-and-now life (such as echoes of childhood suffering, pity-me and other mind games, compulsive behaviour, and repetitive dysfunctional life patterns).
• The aims of change under TA are autonomy (freedom from childhood script), spontaneity, intimacy, problem solving as opposed to avoidance or passivity, cure as an ideal rather than merely 'making progress', learning new choices.
Transactional Analysis Today
Leaving psychoanalysis half a century ago, Eric Berne presented transactional analysis to the world as a phenomenological approach replacing Freud's philosophical construct with observable data. His theory built on the science of Penfield and Spitz along with the neo-psychoanalytic thought of people such as Federn, Weiss and Erikson. By moving to an interpersonal motivational theory, he placed it both in opposition to the psychoanalytic traditions of his day and within what would become the psychoanalytic traditions of the future. From Berne, transactional analysts have inherited a determination to create an accessible and user-friendly system, an understanding of script or life-plan, ego states, transactions, and a theory of groups. They also inherited troubled aspects of his thinking and personality, especially his rebelliousness and antagonism toward the psychoanalysis of his day. They have inherited misunderstandings arising from the ill-informed equation of the ego states of transactional analysis with the psychoanalytic constructs of id, ego, and superego and the consequences of the popularity of his book Games People Play which resulted in the vulgarization of some of its concepts. These problems have been compounded by the isolationist and elitist attitude that permeated the beginnings of transactional analysis as it established its own standards for competency based credentialing without taking into account other training or certification in occupational fields– while at the same time paradoxically cultivating the “pop psychology” image[who?]that appealed to mental health clients and other consumers in organizations and education.
Fifty years later
Within the overarching framework of transactional analysis, more recent transactional analysts have elaborated several different, if overlapping, “flavors:” cognitive, behavioral, relational, redecision, integrative, constructivist, narrative, body-work, positive psychological, personality adaptational, self-reparenting, psychodynamic, and neuroconstructivist[citation needed]. Some transactional analysts[who?] highlight the many things they have in common with cognitive-behavioral therapists: the use of contracts with clear goals, the attention to cognitive distortions (called “Adult decontamination” or “Child deconfusion”), the focus on the client’s conscious attitudes and behaviors and the use of “strokes”[citation needed]. Cognitive-based transactional analysts use ego state identification to identify communication distortions and teach different functional options in the dynamics of communication. Some make additional contracts for more profound work involving life-plans or scripts or with unconscious processes, including those which manifest in the client-therapist relationship as transference and countertransference, and define themselves as psychodynamic or relational transactional analysts. Some highlight the study and promotion of subjective well-being and optimal human functioning rather than pathology and so identify with positive psychology[citation needed]. Some are increasingly influenced by current research in attachment, mother-infant interaction, and by the implications of interpersonal neurobiology, and non-linear dynamic systems.
History
TA is not only post-Freudian but according to its founder's wishes consciously extra-Freudian. That is to say that while it has its roots in psychoanalysis - since Berne was a psychoanalytic-trained psychiatrist - it was designed as a dissenting branch of psychoanalysis in that it put its emphasis on transactional, rather than "psycho-", analysis.
With its focus on transactions, TA shifted its attention from internal psychological dynamics to the dynamics contained in people's interactions. Rather than believing that increasing awareness of the contents of unconsciously held , whatever the perspective preferred by the individual TA practitioner, all share a common group of Bernian concepts: ego states, transactions, strokes, games, Transactional analysis, commonly known as TA to its adherents, is an integrative approach to the theory of psychology and psychotherapy. Integrative because it has elements of psychoanalytic, Humanist and Cognitive approaches. It was developed by Canadian-born US psychiatrist Eric Berne during the late 1950s.
TA and popular culture
Berne's ability to express the ideas of TA in common language and his popularisation of the concepts in mass-market books inspired a boom of popular TA texts, some of which simplify TA concepts to a deleterious degree[citation needed].
One example is a caricature of the structural model, where it is made out that the Parent judges, the Adult thinks and the Child feels. Most serious TA texts, including those aimed at the mass market rather than professionals, avoid this degree of oversimplification.
Thomas Harris's highly successful popular work from the late 1960s, I'm OK, You're OK is largely based on Transactional Analysis. A fundamental divergence, however, between Harris and Berne is that Berne postulates that everyone starts life in the "I'm OK" position, whereas Harris believes that life starts out "I'm not OK, you're OK". Many transactional analysts[citation needed] have regarded Harris as too far removed from core TA beliefs to be considered a transactional analyst.
New Age author James Redfield has acknowledged[6] Harris and Berne as important influences in his best-seller The Celestine Prophecy. The protagonists in the novel survive by striving (and succeeding) in escaping from "control dramas" that resemble the games of TA.
Transactional analysis, commonly known as TA to its adherents, is an integrative approach to the theory of psychology and psychotherapy. Integrative because it has elements of psychoanalytic, Humanist and Cognitive approaches. It was developed by Canadian-born US psychiatrist Eric Berne during the late 1950s.
History
TA is not only post-Freudian but according to its founder's wishes consciously extra-Freudian. That is to say that while it has its roots in psychoanalysis - since Berne was a psychoanalytic-trained psychiatrist - it was designed as a dissenting branch of psychoanalysis in that it put its emphasis on transactional, rather than "psycho-", analysis.
With its focus on transactions, TA shifted its attention from internal psychological dynamics to the dynamics contained in people's interactions. Rather than believing that increasing awareness of the contents of unconsciously held ideas was the therapeutic path, TA concentrated on the content of people's interactions with each other. Changing these interactions was TA's path to solving emotional problems.
In addition Berne believed in making a commitment to "curing" his patients rather than just understanding them. To that end he introduced one of the most important aspects of TA: the contract - an agreement entered into by both client and therapist to pursue specific changes that the client desires.
Revising Freud's concept of the human psyche as composed of the id, ego, and super-ego, Berne postulated in addition three "ego states" — the Parent, Adult, and Child states — which were largely shaped through childhood experiences. These three are all part of Freud's ego; none represented the id or the superego.
Unhealthy childhood experiences could damage the Adult or Parent ego states, which would bring discomfort to an individual and/or others in a variety of forms, including many types of mental illness...
Berne considered how individuals interact with one another, and how the ego states affected each set of transactions. Unproductive or counterproductive transactions were considered to be signs of ego state problems. Analysing these transactions, according to the person's individual developmental history, would enable the person to "get better". Berne thought that virtually everyone has something problematic about their ego states and that negative behaviour would not be addressed by "treating" only the problematic individual.
Berne identified a typology of common counterproductive social interactions, identifying these as "games".
Berne presented his theories in two popular books on transactional analysis: Games People Play (1964) and What Do You Say After You Say Hello? (1975). As a result of this popularity, TA came to be disdained in many[citation needed] mainstream mental health circles as an example of "pop psychology". I'm OK, You're OK (1969), written by Berne's longtime friend Thomas Anthony Harris, is probably the most popular TA book. Many TA therapists regard I'm OK, You're OK as an oversimplification or worse.[citation needed]
TA was also dismissed by the conventional psychoanalytic community[citation needed] because of its radical departures from Freudian theory. However, by the 1970s, because of its non-technical and non-threatening jargon and model of the human psyche, many of its terms and concepts were adopted by eclectic therapists as part of their individual approaches to psychotherapy. It also served well as a therapy model for groups of patients, or marital/family counselees, where interpersonal (rather than intrapersonal) disturbances were the focus of treatment. Critics[1] have charged that TA — especially as loosely interpreted by those outside the more formal TA community — is a pseudoscience; when it is in fact[citation needed] better understood as a philosophy which happens to meet all the criteria listed in the Wikipedia entry for belief system.
TA's popularity in the U.S. waned in the 1970s, but it retains some popularity elsewhere in the world.[1] The more dedicated TA purists banded together in 1964 with Berne to form a research and professional accrediting body, the International Transactional Analysis Association, or ITAA. The organization is still active as of 2008.
TA outline
TA is a theory of personality and a systematic psychotherapy for personal growth and personal change.
1. As a theory of personality, TA describes how people are structured psychologically. It uses what is perhaps its best known model, the ego-state (Parent-Adult-Child) model to do this. This same model helps understand how people function and express themselves in their behaviors.
2. As a theory of communication it extends to a method of analysing systems and organisations.
3. It offers a theory for child development, where it ties in very neatly with the Freudian developmental stages -oral, anal, phallic.
4. It introduces the idea of a "Life (or Childhood) Script", that is, a story one perceives about ones own life, to answer questions such as "What matters", "How do I get along in life" and "What kind of person am I". This story, TA says, is often stuck to no matter the consequences, to "prove" one is right, even at the cost of pain, compulsion, self-defeating behaviour and other dysfunction. Thus TA offers a theory of a broad range of psychopathology.
5. In practical application, it can be used in the diagnosis and treatment of many types of psychological disorders, and provides a method of therapy for individuals, couples, families and groups.
6. Outside the therapeutic field, it has been used in education, to help teachers remain in clear communication at an appropriate level, in counseling and consultancy, in management and communications training, and by other bodies.
Key ideas of TA
TA emphasizes a pragmatic approach, that is, it seeks to find "what works" in treating patients, and, where applicable, develop models to assist understanding of why certain treatments work. Thus, TA continually evolves. However some core models and concepts are part of TA as follows:--
The Ego-State (or Parent-Adult-Child, PAC) model
At any given time, a person experiences and manifests their personality through a mixture of behaviours, thoughts and feelings. Typically, according to TA, there are three ego-states that people consistently use:
• Parent ("exteropsyche"): a state in which people behave, feel, and think in response to an unconscious mimicking of how their parents (or other parental figures) acted, or how they interpreted their parent's actions. For example, a person may shout at someone out of frustration because they learned from an influential figure in childhood the lesson that this seemed to be a way of relating that worked.
• Adult ("neopsyche"): a state of the ego which is most like a computer processing information and making predictions absent of major emotions that cloud its operation. Learning to strengthen the Adult is a goal of TA. While a person is in the Adult ego state, he/she is directed towards an objective appraisal of reality.
• Child ("archaeopsyche"): a state in which people behave, feel and think similarly to how they did in childhood. For example, a person who receives a poor evaluation at work may respond by looking at the floor, and crying or pouting, as they used to when scolded as a child. Conversely, a person who receives a good evaluation may respond with a broad smile and a joyful gesture of thanks. The Child is the source of emotions, creation, recreation, spontaneity and intimacy.
Berne differentiated his Parent, Adult, and Child ego states from actual adults, parents, and children, by using capital letters when describing them. These ego-states may or may not represent the relationships that they act out. For example, in the workplace, an adult supervisor may take on the Parent role, and scold an adult employee as though they were a Child. Or a child, using their Parent ego-state, could scold their actual parent as though the parent were a Child.
Within each of these ego states are subdivisions. Thus Parental figures are often either nurturing (permission-giving, security-giving) or criticizing (comparing to family traditions and ideals in generally negative ways); Childhood behaviours are either natural (free) or adapted to others. These subdivision categorize individuals' patterns of behaviour, feelings, and ways of thinking, that can be functional (beneficial or positive) or dysfunctional/counterproductive (negative).
Ego-states do not correspond directly to Sigmund Freud's Ego, Superego and Id, although there are obvious parallels. Ego states are consistent for each person and are argued by TA practitioners as more readily observable than the pats in Freud's hypothetical model. In other words, the particular ego state that a given person is communicating from is determinable by external observation and experience.
There is no "universal" ego-state; each state is individually and visibly manifested for each person. For example, each Child ego state is unique to the childhood experiences, mentality, intellect, and family of each individual; it is not a generalised childlike state.
Ego states can become contaminated, for example, when a person mistakes Parental rules and slogans, for here-and-now Adult reality, and when beliefs are taken as facts. Or when a person "knows" that everyone is laughing at them because "they always laughed". This would be an example of a childhood contamination, insofar as here-and-now reality is being overlaid with memories of previous historic incidents in childhood.
Ego states also do not correspond directly to thinking, feeling, and judging, as these behaviors are present in every ego state.
Berne suspected that Parent, Adult, and Child ego states might be tied to specific areas of the human brain; an idea that has not been proved.[1]
In more recent years the three ego state model has been questioned by a marginal TA group in Australia, who have devised a "two ego-state model" as a means of solving perceived theoretical problems:
"The two ego-state model sought to correct inaccuracies in the three ego-state model Berne devised. The two ego-state model says that there is a Child ego-state and a Parent ego-state, placing the Adult ego-state with the Parent ego-state. The information we learn at school is all Parent ego-state introjects. How we learn to speak, add up and learn how to think is all just copied from our teachers. Just as our morals and values are copied from our parents. There is no absolute truth where facts exist out side a person’s own belief system. Berne mistakenly concluded that there was and thus mistakenly put the Adult ego-state as separate from the Parent ego-state." For anyone interested in sourcing this deviation from mainstream TA, see [2][3]
Transactions and Strokes
• Transactions are the flow of communication, and more specifically the unspoken psychological flow of communication that runs in parallel.
• Transactions occur simultaneously at both explicit and psychological levels. Example: sweet caring voice with sarcastic intent. To read the real communication requires both surface and non-verbal reading.
• Strokes are the recognition, attention or responsiveness that one person gives another. Strokes can be positive (nicknamed "warm fuzzies"[4]) or negative ("cold pricklies"). A key idea is that people hunger for recognition, and that lacking positive strokes, will seek whatever kind they can, even if it is recognition of a negative kind. We test out as children what strategies and behaviours seem to get us strokes, of whatever kind we can get.
People often create pressure in (or experience pressure from) others to communicate in a way that matches their style, so that a boss who talks to his staff as a controlling parent will often engender self-abasement or other childlike responses. Those employees who resist may get removed or labeled as "trouble".
Transactions can be experienced as positive or negative depending on the nature of the strokes within them. However, a negative transaction is preferred to no transaction at all, because of a fundamental hunger for strokes.
The nature of transactions is important to understanding communication.
Kinds of transaction
Reciprocal or Complementary Transactions
A simple, reciprocal transaction occurs when both partners are addressing the ego state the other is in. These are also called complementary transactions.
Example 1
A: "Have you been able to write the report?"
B: "Yes - I'm about to email it to you." ----(This exchange was Adult to Adult)
Example 2
A: "Would you like to skip this meeting and go watch a film with me instead?"
B: "I'd love to - I don't want to work anymore, what should we go and see?" (Child to Child)
Example 3
A: "You should have your room tidy by now!" (Parent to Child)
B: "Will you stop hassling me? I'll do it eventually!" (Child to Parent)
Communication like this can continue indefinitely. (Clearly it will stop at some stage - but this psychologically balanced exchange of strokes can continue for some time).
Crossed Transactions
Communication failures are typically caused by a 'crossed transaction' where partners address ego states other than that their partner is in. Consider the above examples jumbled up a bit.
Example 1a:
A: "Have you been able to write that report?" (Adult to Adult)
B: "Will you stop hassling me? I'll do it eventually!" (Child to Parent)
is a crossed transaction likely to produce problems in the workplace. "A" may respond with a Parent to Child transaction. For instance:
A: "If you don't change your attitude, you'll get fired."
Example 2a:
A: "Is your room tidy yet?" (Parent to Child)
B: "I'm just going to do it, actually." (Adult to Adult)
is a more positive crossed transaction. However there is the risk that "A" will feel aggrieved that "B" is acting responsibly and not playing their role, and the conversation will develop into:
A: "I can never trust you to do things!" (Parent to Child)
B: "Why don't you believe anything I say?" (Adult to Adult)
which can continue indefinitely.
[edit] Duplex or Covert transactions
Another class of transaction is the 'duplex' or 'covert' transactions, where the explicit social conversation occurs in parallel with an implicit psychological transaction. For instance,
A: "I need you to stay late at the office with me." (Adult words)
body language indicates sexual intent (flirtatious Child)
B: "Of course." (Adult response to Adult statement).
winking or grinning (Child accepts the hidden motive).
Phenomena behind the transactions
Life (or Childhood) Script
• Script is a life plan, directed to a reward.
• Script is decisional and responsive; i.e., decided upon in childhood in response to perceptions of the world and as a means of living with and making sense of the world. It is not just thrust upon a person by external forces.
• Script is reinforced by parents (or other influential figures and experiences).
• Script is for the most part outside awareness.
• Script is how we navigate and what we look for, the rest of reality is redefined (distorted) to match our filters.
Each culture, country and people in the world has a Mythos, that is, a legend explaining its origins, core beliefs and purpose. According to TA, so do individual people. A person begins writing his/her own life story (script) at a young age, as he/she tries to make sense of the world and his place within it. Although it is revised throughout life, the core story is selected and decided upon typically by age 7. As adults it passes out of awareness. A life script might be "to be hurt many times, and suffer and make others feel bad when I die", and could result in a person indeed setting himself up for this, by adopting behaviours in childhood that produce exactly this effect. Though Berne identified several dozen common scripts, there are a practically infinite number of them. Though often largely destructive, scripts could as easily be mostly positive or beneficial.
Redefining and Discounting
• Redefining means the distortion of reality when we deliberately (but unconsciously) distort things to match our preferred way of seeing the world. Thus a person whose script involves "struggling alone against a cold hard world" may redefine others' kindness, concluding that others are trying to get something by manipulation.
• Discounting means to take something as worth less than it is. Thus to give a substitute reaction which does not originate as a here-and-now Adult attempt to solve the actual problem, or to choose not to see evidence that would contradict one's script. Types of discount can also include: passivity (doing nothing), over-adaptation, agitation, incapacitation, anger and violence.
Injunctions and Drivers
TA identifies twelve key injunctions which people commonly build into their scripts. These are injunctions in the sense of being powerful "I can't/mustn't ..." messages that embed into a child's belief and life-script:
Don't be (don't exist), Don't be who you are, Don't be a child, Don't grow up, Don't make it in your life, Don't do anything!, Don't be important, Don't belong, Don't be close, Don't be well (don't be sane!), Don't think, Don't feel.
In addition there is the so-called episcript, "You should (or deserve to) have this happen in your life, so it doesn't have to happen to me." (Magical thinking on the part of the parent(s).)
Against these, a child is often told other things he or she must do. There is debate as to whether there are five or six of these 'drivers':
Please (me/others)! Be perfect! Be Strong! Try Hard! Hurry Up! (Be Careful! is disputed)
Thus in creating his script, a child will often attempt to juggle these, example: "It's okay for me to go on living (ignore don't exist) so long as I try hard".
This explains why some change is inordinately difficult. To continue the above example: When a person stops trying hard and relaxes to be with his family, the injunction You don't have the right to exist which was being suppressed by their script now becomes exposed and a vivid threat. Such an individual may feel a massive psychological pressure which he himself doesn't understand, to return to trying hard, in order to feel safe and justified (in a childlike way) in existing.
Driver behaviour is also detectable at a very small scale, for instance in instinctive responses to certain situations where driver behaviour is played out over five to twenty seconds.
Broadly, scripts can fall into Tragic, Heroic or Banal (or Non-Winner) varieties, depending on their rules.
Ways of Time Structuring
There are six ways of structuring time by giving and receiving strokes:
1. Withdrawal
2. Ritual
3. Pastimes
4. Activity
5. Games
6. Intimacy
This is sorted in accordance to stroke strength, Intimacy and Games allow for the most intensive strokes, in general.
Withdrawal
This means no strokes are being exchanged
Rituals
A ritual is a series of transactions that are complementary (reciprocal), stereotyped and based on social programming. Rituals usually comprise a series of strokes exchanged between two parties.
For instance, two people may have a daily two stroke ritual, where, the first time they meet each day, each one greets the other with a "Hi". Others may have a four stroke ritual, such as:
A: Hi!
B: Hi! How do you do?
A: Getting along. What about you?
B: Fine. See you around.
The next time they meet in the day, they may not exchange any strokes at all, or may just acknowledge each other's presence with a curt nod.
Some phenomena associated with daily rituals:
• If a person exchanges fewer strokes than expected, the other person may feel that he is either preoccupied or acting high and mighty.
• If a person exchanges more strokes than expected, the other person might wonder whether he is trying to butter him up or get on good terms for some vested interests.
• If two people do not meet for a long time, a backlog of strokes gets built up, so that the next time they meet, they may exchange a large number of strokes to catch up.
Pastimes
A pastime is a series of transactions that is complementary (reciprocal), semi-ritualistic, and is mainly intended as a time-structuring activity. Pastimes have no covert purpose and can usually be carried out only between people on the same wavelength. They are usually shallow and harmless. Pastimes are a type of smalltalk.
Individuals often partake in similar pastimes throughout their entire life, as pastimes are generally very much linked to one's life script and the games that one often plays. Some pastimes can even be understood as a reward for playing a certain game. For example, Eric Berne in Games People Play discusses how those who play the "Alcoholic" game (which Berne differentiated from alcoholism and alcoholics) often enjoy the "Morning After" pastime in which participants share their most amusing or harrowing hangover stories.
Activities (Work)
Activities in this context mean the individuals work together for a common goal. This may be work, sports or something similar. In contrast to Pastimes, there is a meaningful purpose guiding the interactions, while Pastimes are just about exchanging strokes. Strokes can then be given in the context of the cooperation. Thus the strokes are generally not personal, but related to the activity.
Games
Games are discussed below.
Intimacy
Intimacy as a way of structuring time allows one to exchange the strongest strokes without playing a Game. Intimacy differs from Games as there is no covert purpose, and differs from Activities as there is no other process going on which defines a context of cooperation. Strokes are personal, relating to the other person, and often unconditional.
Games and their analysis
Definition of game
A game[5] is a series of transactions that is complementary (reciprocal), ulterior, and proceeds towards a predictable outcome. Games are often characterized by a switch in roles of players towards the end. Games are usually played by Parent, Adult and Child ego states, and games usually have a fixed number of players; however, an individual's role can shift, and people can play multiple roles.
Berne identified dozens of games, noting that, regardless of when, where or by whom they were played, each game tended towards very similar structures in how many players or roles were involved, the rules of the game, and the game's goals.
Each game has a payoff for those playing it, such as the aim of earning sympathy, satisfaction, vindication, or some other emotion that usually reinforces the life script. The antithesis of a game, that is, the way to break it, lies in discovering how to deprive the actors of their payoff.
Students of transactional analysis have discovered that people who are accustomed to a game are willing to play it even as a different "actor" from what they originally were.
Analysis of a game
One important aspect of a game is its number of players. Games may be two handed (that is, played by two players), three handed (that is, played by three players), or many handed. Three other quantitative variables are often useful to consider for games:
• Flexibility: The ability of the players to change the currency of the game (that is, the tools they use to play it). In a flexible game, players may shift from words, to money, to parts of the body.
• Tenacity: The persistence with which people play and stick to their games and their resistance to breaking it.
• Intensity: Easy games are games played in a relaxed way. Hard games are games played in a tense and aggressive way.
Based on the degree of acceptability and potential harm, games are classified as:
• First Degree Games are socially acceptable in the players' social circle.
• Second Degree Games are games that the players would like to conceal, though they may not cause irreversible damage.
• Third Degree Games are games that could lead to drastic harm to one or more of the parties concerned.
Games are also studied based on their:
• Aim
• Roles
• Social and Psychological Paradigms
• Dynamics
• Advantages to players (Payoffs)
Contrast with rational (mathematical) games
Transactional game analysis is fundamentally different from rational or mathematical game analysis in the following senses:
• The players do not always behave rationally in transactional analysis, but behave more like real people.
• Their motives are often ulterior
Some commonly found games
Here are some of the most commonly found themes of games described in Games People Play by Eric Berne:
• YDYB: Why Don't You, Yes But. Historically, the first game discovered.
• IFWY: If It Weren't For You
• WAHM: Why does this Always Happen to Me? (setting up a self-fulfilling prophecy)
• SWYMD: See What You Made Me Do
• UGMIT: You Got Me Into This
• LHIT: Look How Hard I've Tried
• ITHY: I'm Only Trying to Help You
• LYAHF: Let's You and Him Fight (staging a love triangle)
• NIGYYSOB / NIGYSOB: Now I've Got You, You Son Of a Bitch
• RAPO: A woman falsely cries 'rape' or threatens to - related to Buzz Off Buster
Berne argued that games are not played logically; rather, one person's Parent state might interact with another's Child, rather than as Adult to Adult.
Games can also be analysed according to the Karpman drama triangle, that is, by the roles of Persecutor, Victim and Rescuer. The 'switch' is then when one of these having allowed stable roles to become established, suddenly switches role. The Victim becomes a Persecutor, and throws the previous Persecutor into the Victim role, or the Rescuer suddenly switches to become a Persecutor ("You never appreciate me helping you!").
Why Don't You/Yes But
The first such game theorized was Why don't you/Yes, but in which one player (White) would pose a problem as if seeking help, and the other player(s) (Black) would offer solutions (the "Why don't you?" suggestion). This game was noticed as many patients played it in therapy and psychiatry sessions, and inspired Berne to identify other interpersonal "games".
White would point out a flaw in every Black player's solution (the "Yes, but" response), until they all gave up in frustration. For example, if someone's life script was "to be hurt many times, and suffer and make others feel bad when I die" a game of "Why Don't You, Yes But" might proceed as follows:
White: I wish I could lose some weight.
Black: Why don't you join a gym?
W: Yes but, I can't afford the payments for a gym.
B: Why don't you speed walk around your block after you get home from work?
W: Yes but, I don't dare walk alone in my neighborhood after dark.
B: Why don't you take the stairs at work instead of the elevator?
W: Yes but, after my knee surgery, it hurts too much to walk that many flights of stairs.
B: Why don't you change your diet?
W: Yes but, my stomach is sensitive and I can tolerate only certain foods.
"Why Don't You, Yes But" can proceed indefinitely, with any number of players in the Black role, until Black's imagination is exhausted, and she can think of no other solutions. At this point, White "wins" by having stumped Black. After a silent pause following Black's final suggestion, the game is often brought to a formal end by a third role, Green, who makes a comment such as, "It just goes to show how difficult it is to lose weight."
The secondary gain for White was that he could claim to have justified his problem as insoluble and thus avoid the hard work of internal change; and for Black, to either feel the frustrated martyr ("I was only trying to help") or a superior being, disrespected ("the patient was uncooperative").
Superficially, this game can resemble Adult to Adult interaction (people seeking information or advice), but more often, according to Berne, the game is played by Black's helpless Child, and White's lecturing Parent ego states.
Rackets
• A racket is the dual strategy of getting "permitted feelings," while covering up feelings which we truly feel, but which we regard as being "not allowed".
More technically, a racket feeling is "a familiar set of emotions, learned and enhanced during childhood, experienced in many different stress situations, and maladaptive as an adult means of problem solving".
A racket is then a set of behaviours which originate from the childhood script rather than in here-and-now full Adult thinking, which (1) are employed as a way to manipulate the environment to match the script rather than to actually solve the problem, and (2) whose covert goal is not so much to solve the problem, as to experience these racket feelings and feel internally justified in experiencing them.
Examples of racket and racket feelings: "Why do I meet good guys who turn out to be so hurtful", or "He always takes advantage of my goodwill". The racket is then a set of behaviours and chosen strategies learned and practised in childhood which in fact help to cause these feelings to be experienced. Typically this happens despite their own surface protestations and hurt feelings, out of awareness and in a way that is perceived as someone else's fault. One covert pay-off for this racket and its feelings, might be to gain in a guilt free way, continued evidence and reinforcement for a childhood script belief that "People will always let you down".
In other words, rackets and games are devices used by a person to create a circumstance where they can legitimately feel the racket feelings, thus abiding by and reinforcing their Childhood script. They are always a substitute for a more genuine and full adult emotion and response which would be a more appropriate response to the here-and-now situation.
Philosophy of TA
• People are OK; thus each person has validity, importance, equality of respect.
• Everyone (with only few exceptions) has full adult capability to think.
• People decide their story and destiny, and this is a decision that can be changed.
• Freedom from historical maladaptations embedded in the childhood script is required in order to become free of inappropriate, inauthentic and displaced emotion which are not a fair and honest reflection of here-and-now life (such as echoes of childhood suffering, pity-me and other mind games, compulsive behaviour, and repetitive dysfunctional life patterns).
• The aims of change under TA are autonomy (freedom from childhood script), spontaneity, intimacy, problem solving as opposed to avoidance or passivity, cure as an ideal rather than merely 'making progress', learning new choices.
Transactional Analysis Today
Leaving psychoanalysis half a century ago, Eric Berne presented transactional analysis to the world as a phenomenological approach replacing Freud's philosophical construct with observable data. His theory built on the science of Penfield and Spitz along with the neo-psychoanalytic thought of people such as Federn, Weiss and Erikson. By moving to an interpersonal motivational theory, he placed it both in opposition to the psychoanalytic traditions of his day and within what would become the psychoanalytic traditions of the future. From Berne, transactional analysts have inherited a determination to create an accessible and user-friendly system, an understanding of script or life-plan, ego states, transactions, and a theory of groups. They also inherited troubled aspects of his thinking and personality, especially his rebelliousness and antagonism toward the psychoanalysis of his day. They have inherited misunderstandings arising from the ill-informed equation of the ego states of transactional analysis with the psychoanalytic constructs of id, ego, and superego and the consequences of the popularity of his book Games People Play which resulted in the vulgarization of some of its concepts. These problems have been compounded by the isolationist and elitist attitude that permeated the beginnings of transactional analysis as it established its own standards for competency based credentialing without taking into account other training or certification in occupational fields– while at the same time paradoxically cultivating the “pop psychology” image[who?]that appealed to mental health clients and other consumers in organizations and education.
Fifty years later
Within the overarching framework of transactional analysis, more recent transactional analysts have elaborated several different, if overlapping, “flavors:” cognitive, behavioral, relational, redecision, integrative, constructivist, narrative, body-work, positive psychological, personality adaptational, self-reparenting, psychodynamic, and neuroconstructivist[citation needed]. Some transactional analysts[who?] highlight the many things they have in common with cognitive-behavioral therapists: the use of contracts with clear goals, the attention to cognitive distortions (called “Adult decontamination” or “Child deconfusion”), the focus on the client’s conscious attitudes and behaviors and the use of “strokes”[citation needed]. Cognitive-based transactional analysts use ego state identification to identify communication distortions and teach different functional options in the dynamics of communication. Some make additional contracts for more profound work involving life-plans or scripts or with unconscious processes, including those which manifest in the client-therapist relationship as transference and countertransference, and define themselves as psychodynamic or relational transactional analysts. Some highlight the study and promotion of subjective well-being and optimal human functioning rather than pathology and so identify with positive psychology[citation needed]. Some are increasingly influenced by current research in attachment, mother-infant interaction, and by the implications of interpersonal neurobiology, and non-linear dynamic systems.
History
TA is not only post-Freudian but according to its founder's wishes consciously extra-Freudian. That is to say that while it has its roots in psychoanalysis - since Berne was a psychoanalytic-trained psychiatrist - it was designed as a dissenting branch of psychoanalysis in that it put its emphasis on transactional, rather than "psycho-", analysis.
With its focus on transactions, TA shifted its attention from internal psychological dynamics to the dynamics contained in people's interactions. Rather than believing that increasing awareness of the contents of unconsciously held , whatever the perspective preferred by the individual TA practitioner, all share a common group of Bernian concepts: ego states, transactions, strokes, games, Transactional analysis, commonly known as TA to its adherents, is an integrative approach to the theory of psychology and psychotherapy. Integrative because it has elements of psychoanalytic, Humanist and Cognitive approaches. It was developed by Canadian-born US psychiatrist Eric Berne during the late 1950s.
TA and popular culture
Berne's ability to express the ideas of TA in common language and his popularisation of the concepts in mass-market books inspired a boom of popular TA texts, some of which simplify TA concepts to a deleterious degree[citation needed].
One example is a caricature of the structural model, where it is made out that the Parent judges, the Adult thinks and the Child feels. Most serious TA texts, including those aimed at the mass market rather than professionals, avoid this degree of oversimplification.
Thomas Harris's highly successful popular work from the late 1960s, I'm OK, You're OK is largely based on Transactional Analysis. A fundamental divergence, however, between Harris and Berne is that Berne postulates that everyone starts life in the "I'm OK" position, whereas Harris believes that life starts out "I'm not OK, you're OK". Many transactional analysts[citation needed] have regarded Harris as too far removed from core TA beliefs to be considered a transactional analyst.
New Age author James Redfield has acknowledged[6] Harris and Berne as important influences in his best-seller The Celestine Prophecy. The protagonists in the novel survive by striving (and succeeding) in escaping from "control dramas" that resemble the games of TA.
Time buat proposal yg memfeninkan otak, aku mula tingat kat...
Anak2 sdara aku (intan, hairiel, hakim, danish, angah, Yang, nasir, haiqal et al. (2009) byk sgt daaa) yg cute2 tu yg slalu kene buli dgn makcik korang yg sengal neh hehhee
Haaa... ni sowang lg slalu kne buli dgn aku hehee... padan muke :p tp lani xleh
buli lg laa... xper2... tgu la nnt ak blk kene buli mental & psikologi la bdk neh...
Haaa... ni sowang lg slalu kne buli dgn aku hehee... padan muke :p tp lani xleh
buli lg laa... xper2... tgu la nnt ak blk kene buli mental & psikologi la bdk neh...
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